Grounded Orbs

Fuck me, the shitstorms are coming thick and fast, aren't they?

All them aeroplanes grounded. Whatever could it be? Rogue AI? Chinese cyberattacks? Fucking aliens?

"Oh, I've seen some drones hovering over McDonald's."

Oh, have you now, ya fucking eejit! Had you said a "glowing orb" I might have believed it. Always bloody orbs now, isn't it? Stupid cunts.

Anyway, I did hear that the FAA, the people in charge of aeroplanes not banging into each other over there, had suffered a pretty massive fuck-up.

Well, up pops that fucking weird Trumpkin piping up that it was down to a lack of cash. Poor bastard's only got $12 billion and he wants a quadrillion or whatever the fuck he's after.

You know, I actually thought, fair play, man. Call it out, son. Didn't particularly enjoy the Trump-felating, but whatever.

Then the cunt attacks us, doesn't he?

Oh, it was a router, was it? Techies' fault, was it?

I won't lie, I might be a little fucking xenophobic, but stop saying "R-owt-er". It's "Roo-ter", ya cunt.

Apparently, some poor tech has had to replace a router. They're replacing copper with fibre. No big whoop. But no tech cunt in their right mind is simply pulling one out and replacing it with the other without a bit of planning.

So it's more likely that some fucking idiot has managed to cock up what should be a relatively straightforward bit of infrastructure shit.

Now, remember when they sacked a shitload of staff, gave a meme coin outfit access to fuck everything up, and that dark MAGA, edge-lord, Nazi-saluting sack of congealed crème brûlée jizz stain Musk recommended that the FAA didn't need all those techie experts?

Well, is it really that difficult to imagine that some unqualified cunt decided they could save a few quid by skipping the testing and just swapping out an otherwise perfectly functional router?

You see, what you'd actually do is build the new system in parallel. You'd have both systems running at the same time. Move some of the load across, see how it behaves, stress-test the fucker, iron out any problems and, eventually, migrate everything over.

You know, boring, sensible, technically competent shit.

So is it really that hard to believe that some unqualified bum nugget decided they knew better, ripped out the old one, plugged in the new one and assumed everything would be just fine?

I mean, sounds legit to me!

It's not like it would be anything else. It's not like the FAA has a shiny new AI air traffic management contractor who donated to the fucking campaign of the Transportation Secretary's son-in-law, just three months before being awarded an $875 million contract...

Ah fuck it.

It was the Orbs