Twelve Colonies

How the fuck do you become CEO of not only a massive, sensitive commercial company, but one with super-sensitive national security ramifications, without having the common sense not to have an affair with a peculiarly curious foreign national from a hostile nation?

I'll fucking tell you!

When I were a young tech, I remember being told by a senior tech, "You know nowt!"

I assumed he meant technically. Well, now that I'm a senior tech myself, I can tell you it has fuck all to do with your technical ability. In fact, you're probably already better than I ever was. But you young'uns know fuck all!

See, they don't fucking tell you at the start. The knowing part is knowing that the fucking idiots are in charge. The smart cunts get nowhere.

You make a mistake, you're cast out. Walk of shame. "Spanner of the Week" award, presented as a leaving gift. "Too clever for his own good, that cunt!"

Some dopey bastard fucks up and the prick gets a promotion!

I've seen it in other companies too. Promote incompetence out of the way so the rest of us can get shit done.

Fucking insanity. But that's why we're fucking here.

How do you become CEO of a massive national security vulnerability?

Be a fucking dumb cunt!

You couldn't make this shit up.

Well, you could. The Battlestar Galactica writers did. Honey-trapping the bloke with all the secrets, them Cunty Cylons Pricks!

If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't be writing this shit. I'd be fighting off sexy Chinese spies with a shitty stick.

Seriously, what the fuck are we doing?

Take me to Caprica! So Say We All.