Quantum Gloves

So I'm flicking through Reddit, as you do. What's this then? NASA? Quantum link between the ground and an aircraft! Nice. That's well up my street.

Clicked on the bastard enthusiastically, then saw it.

"Quantum Entanglement"

What a muppet. I was genuinely annoyed that I hadn't predicted some cunt would say it. Silly bastard. If you don't know what you're talking about, keep your trap shut. And absolutely-fucking-lutely don't post your ignorant, ill-informed shit on the internet where we can all see it.

The fucking humiliation, internet in a nutshell!

"Oh, look how clever I am. I'm going to start talking bollocks to make myself sound clever, despite knowing fuck all about the subject."

But that's the fucking rub, isn't it? Internet people have no humiliation. No self-respect. No fucking dignity.

It's not fucking communication, dickhead. If it was, it'd be quicker than light, and the speed of light is pretty fucking immutable.

"But how does the other one immediately react once we know the state of the other half? Surely they're communicating?"

No. They're not. And let me explain quantum entanglement to you. Me. A not a physicist, who knows fuck all about quantum physics. Via the medium of a page they'll probably never read.

Right, imagine a pair of gloves. One's a right glove, the other's a left glove. You post one to your pal Baz in Iceland and the other to your pal Nige on Mars.

Baz opens his package. Left glove!

Well, you immediately know Nige has the right glove. No communication needed. Instant knowledge across the fucking universe.

And that's quantum entanglement.

Well, not quite. That's just a pair of fucking gloves.

Pretending they know quantum physics. Pricks!