Barry Gibb

"You can tell by the way that I use my walk, I'm a woman's man, no time to talk!"

Really, Bazza? What the fuck are you on about? It's a four-minute song, mate. You've got plenty of time.

This is Bee Gee obfuscation, and I might be suffering from Reddit Rot, but with the forthcoming AI apocalypse, I reckon the Gibb Boys were trying to leave us clues to a brighter, post-cataclysmic world.

"This world has lost its glory."

Prophetic Maurice. Damn right, mate. We're sliding towards populist-driven fascism, the planet's on fire even before the next potentially catastrophic El Niño kicks in, and have you seen the price of food? Glory? I can't afford a fucking sarnie.

"Let's start a brand new story."

Cheers, Robin. Will do. I'll get right on that after I've shaken off this killer Altman drone buzzing above my head and the ironic Bee Gees falsetto air-raid alarm finally shuts the fuck up. Then I'll smile an everlasting smile, assuming it hasn't already harvested my biometric data and trained itself on my desperate attempts to get a decent night's kip.

Maybe I've been reading too much Reddit.

Fuck it. It's only words.